𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐃 𝚳𝚨𝐑𝐑𝐈𝚨𝐆𝐄// 𝐊𝐓𝐇 𝐅𝐅

CHAPTER 20 (BOOK 2)

Y/N'S POV

I was back home, standing on my room's balcony, looking at the full moon shining in the sky—something I love to do when I feel overwhelmed. I don't know what path my life is taking. His sudden appearance and his effect on me remain unchanged.

He knows me so well that he has read me multiple times. I was an open book that he read until he grew bored and discarded me. I know no one can understand me like he does, not even Ethan. But going back or giving a chance to the same person who made your life toxic is also stupidity. I can't deny my love for him, but I don't want him back in my life. It's so confusing.

The main thing that troubles me the most every day is how I will tell Ethan that he is still my husband. After today's incident, he might think something is going on between me and Taehyung. I really need to tell him everything. I can't hold on to this anymore. I don't want to hurt him either, but I need to tell him.

I turned around and jumped in fear after seeing Ethan standing in my room.

"Oh gosh, you scared me," I said and kept a hand on my heaving chest, calming my breath down. I noticed he looked a little pissed.

"What was Mr. Kim doing in your room, Y/N?" he said. Beads of sweat formed on my head. He misunderstood.

"Nothing...he was just...um...helping me. Something went in my eyes, and he helped me," I said.

"What went in your eyes that made him lock the door?" he asked, and I saw coldness in his eyes and on his face.

"Ethan, I need to tell you something," I blurted.

"What?" he said sharply. I shuddered at his response.

"He is my husband," the words spilled out of my mouth, and I waited for him to lash out at me.

"I know," he said, and confusion clouded my face.

"You know?" I asked him.

“Yes, I know. He is your ex-husband,” he said while handing me a glass of water. I took the glass and took a sip, unable to believe that he knew about him. I kept the glass aside and continued the conversation.

“But how do you know about him being my husband? I never told you his name, never showed you his photo. Then how?” I asked him.

He stepped toward me, slid a hand into his pocket, and took a small pendant out. It was the pendant for which I had cried, thinking that I had lost it forever.

The pendant, which I had kept as a first and last memory of Taehyung being with me, had a photo of us sitting next to each other, celebrating our one-year anniversary—our relationship anniversary.

“Where did you find this? I thought I had lost it,” I said and took it from his hand. Tears of happiness brimmed in my eyes.

“I found it in my car, under the passenger seat, a few months ago,” he said.

“Then why didn't you give it to me in the first place?” I asked him.

“At that time, you were healing from what he did to you. You were growing and doing what you wanted to do. That's why I didn't give it back to you. I wanted to see you happy. Even I wasn't sure that he might be your husband until I saw him, and the meeting happened, and you cried on my shoulder. The dots connected and cleared my doubt that he is your ex-husband,” he said.

“Smart enough, you are,” I said, and he scratched his nape in shyness.

My expression changed from a happy one to a gloomy one instantly.

“But don’t worry, I will never let him hurt you or cross your boundaries. I was just a little scared that there might be something he has done to you behind closed doors without your consent. I didn’t want to act rudely. I am sorry,” he said and held my hand.

“Ethan, he is still my husband. We aren’t divorced,” I said and felt some weight come off my shoulders. His expression changed from a cool, calm one to a deeply hurt one. Guilt erupted in my chest. I knew this would happen.

His hand slipped from mine, and pain was visible in his eyes. He turned around, hiding his pain.

Y/N, what did you do?

“I am sorry, Ethan. I got to know that he didn’t sign his part of the divorce papers on the meeting day. I was disappointed and disgusted by him too, but I couldn’t do anything until he signed those papers. I am so sorry, Eth,” I said, and tears of guilt slipped down my cheeks.

“I am not lying. He did it on purpose. I thought our marriage ended, and he had signed them, but he didn’t.
I hope you won’t think I am lying and that I am playing with you. Please believe me,” I said. I genuinely cared about him. If I can’t love him, then I don’t have the right to hurt him either. But I did. I did hurt him. I can’t take his sad look off my mind.

He turned around and held my face in his palms.

“I know you will never lie to me and will never play with me. You will never hurt me. I believe you and will always believe you forever,” he said while wiping tears off my thumb.

“But seeing you cry is what I won’t tolerate, that too for a man who never noticed your pain,” he said, and I nodded in response.

“You need to buckle up and be the same as usual. Don’t let him think that his presence affects you, even if it does. I am here for you always,” he said and kissed me on the forehead.

“Thank you so much, Ethan,” I replied.

“Mention not, love,” he said and gently slid his hands off my face to my hand, gently rubbing them.

“But, will you answer me one thing honestly?” he asked.

“Yes, what is it?” I said.

“Do you still love him?”

The moment those words left his mouth, my palpitation got high. I could hear the thumping in my chest. I wasn't clear about my feelings yet. The flashes of the happiest times made me want him, but the flashes of how brutal he was made me loathe him. I craved him, but still didn't want him back in my life.

Every person in your life gives you a different kind of love: a mother's motherly love, a father's fatherly love, a brother's brotherly love, and a friend's friendly love. But the type of love he gave me, only he can give.

“I got my answer,” Ethan replied, and his eyes lowered in sadness.

“I'm sorry, Eeth. I wish you find the most loving girl you deserve,” I said, and he nodded.

I couldn't help myself, and I hugged him. I felt his sadness and heartache. My arms were around his neck and his one arm was around my waist. I hugged him a little tighter and ruffled his hair.

“I'm sorry. I'm really sorry,” I said.

“You don't have to be. What is meant to happen will happen, no matter how much you deny it,” he said, and his words clicked straight into my mind and heart. I gently broke the hug.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“His coming back into your life is for a reason. God never sends the same person twice. If he does, then there is a reason,” he said.

“It's because of the project, isn't it?” I asked him.

“Maybe the project or maybe something else,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked him again.

“Let time tell, love. Rest, we will see what we can do,” he said and left the room.

I stood there, reviving the words and making meaning of them.

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